Do you know any unicorn moms who never lose their patience with their kids? If you do, please send them my way—I’d love to know their secret! For the rest of us, who are wonderfully human and sometimes struggle to stay calm, this post is for you.
Patience can be tough, especially when you’re running on little sleep, juggling a busy schedule, or dealing with unexpected chaos. The goal here isn’t perfection (because let’s face it, that doesn’t exist). Instead of seeking perfection, aim to have a few simple strategies. Use them when life doesn’t go as planned. It inevitably will.
Here are four practical tips to help you stay patient when dealing with your kids.
~Find Your Pain Points~
First, notice the triggers that make it harder for you to stay patient. Understanding these “pain points” can make a world of difference in how you handle challenging situations. Here are a few common ones and how to deal with them:
1. Lack of Sleep
Does everything seem more irritating when you’re tired? You’re not alone. Acknowledge that being sleep-deprived makes it harder to control your reactions. On those especially groggy days, try letting your kids know, “Mom’s a little tired today, so I may need some extra help being patient.” You’d be surprised at how understanding they can be.
2. Busy Schedule Stress
Life can get hectic, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when there’s too much on your plate. Is there anything you can simplify, delegate, or even postpone? The goal isn’t to do everything perfectly; it’s to do what matters most without burning out. Sometimes, this means letting go of less-important tasks.
3. Loud Noises
Does constant noise set you on edge? Consider noise-canceling earbuds or headphones to help dampen the sound. At the same time, evaluate your expectations—is it realistic to expect complete silence with kids? If the noise is excessive, maybe it’s time for a quick “inside voice” training session with your little ones.
4. Unrealistic Expectations and Labels
Sometimes, our frustration comes from expecting our kids to act older than they are or fit into certain “good behavior” labels. Take a moment to adjust your perspective. Are your expectations fair for their age and personality?
When you take stock of these stress points, you can start to plan small changes that make a big impact on your patience.
~Lean on Faith and Scripture~
Sometimes, no amount of planning or problem-solving feels like enough. It’s in those moments that leaning on your faith can help tremendously. Remember, none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes. This is why we need God’s strength to guide us.
Start With Prayer
Begin your morning with prayer or quiet time. It’s a great way to reset and mentally prepare for the day. Even five minutes of reflecting on scripture can realign your focus and help you approach challenges with grace and calm.
Repeat Encouraging Scripture
Having a few meaningful Bible verses on hand can also be incredibly uplifting. Consider ones that remind you of God’s patience and love, like Galatians 5:22-23 (the fruits of the Spirit) or Proverbs 15:1 (“A gentle answer turns away wrath…”)
Here are a few other examples:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
Check out this post for more tips and verses on patience in parenting.
This isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about progress, one moment of calm at a time.
~Practice Replays and Visualization~
Ever wish you could hit “rewind” on a frustrating moment? While we can’t change the past, we can learn from it. Practicing mental “replays” can help you improve how you respond to tough situations in the future.
Try Visualization Beforehand
Take five minutes to mentally walk through a scenario that you know usually tests your patience. Picture yourself responding the way you want to—with calm words, deep breaths, and a steady tone. Visualization might seem a little odd at first, but it helps train your brain to react differently.
Review Moments With Your Kids
If a situation didn’t go as planned, don’t stress. Instead, replay it with your kids in a lighthearted way. Speak in a calm voice and say something like, “Okay, this is how I wish I had responded earlier,” and then act it out together. Not only is it a teaching moment, but it can also turn a tough situation into a bonding one.
~Apologize When Things Go Wrong~
Here’s the thing about being human—we’ll mess up. We’ll raise our voices, lose our tempers, or say something we regret. But one of the most beautiful, impactful things we can do as parents is apologize.
Here is a great post on saying sorry and letting go after a tough situation with your kids.
When we say, “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. That wasn’t okay,” we’re showing our kids what accountability and humility look like. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. Plus, it sets an example for how they can handle their own mistakes in the future. Win-win.
Small Changes Lead to Big Gains
The most important takeaway? Give yourself grace. You’re not going to get it right 100 percent of the time, and that’s okay. Parenting is a lifelong practice, full of trial and error.
Start with these 4 tips:
- Identify your pain points and plan small changes to manage them.
- Lean on faith and scripture for strength, patience, and perspective.
- Visualize situations and use replays as teaching moments.
- Apologize when things go wrong to model accountability.
With time, patience (ironically!) becomes easier. Each small tweak helps you feel more calm, capable, and connected to your kids.
What tips do you use to stay patient with your little ones? Share your thoughts in the comments below. We’re all in this together!
