We’ve all been there. You have one of those days where everything seems to implode at once. The baby’s crying. The toddler’s having a meltdown. Dinner isn’t cooking itself. To top it all off, that nagging feeling of guilt creeps in. Each moment of stress feeds off the prior one. This creates a snowball effect, and you feel powerless to stop.
But the truth is, you can take control and learn to manage those overwhelming moments. With practice, it gets easier. Here are four common mistakes moms make when facing anxiety and guilt, and practical ways to avoid them.
Mistake 1: Not Taking it to God/Praying
When chaos strikes, the last thing on your mind might be stopping for a moment of prayer. But turning to God can bring clarity and peace in ways nothing else can. Prayer isn’t about instantly solving your problems; it’s about grounding yourself.
There’s something undeniably powerful about voicing your worries to God. Saying your thoughts out loud—even if it feels awkward at first—is like releasing the weight on your heart. God already knows the struggles you’re juggling. However, speaking them out loud can help you process your emotions. It can also make you feel heard.
How to Avoid This Mistake
- Set aside even two minutes for prayer, whether first thing in the morning or the heat of a stressful moment.
- Get comfortable with being vulnerable in your prayers. Say exactly what you’re feeling without overthinking it.
- Use a prayer journal to write things down if that feels more natural.
Sometimes, just a moment of prayer can turn your day around.
Mistake 2: Not Reaching Out for Support
It’s so easy to tell yourself, I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems. Or worse, think, If people cared, they’d notice I’m struggling. But here’s the reality—we’re all busy, and sometimes even the ones who care about you the most don’t notice when you’re feeling off. That doesn’t mean they don’t love you; it just means you might need to reach out first.
The devil wants you to feel isolated because isolation magnifies your struggles. When you talk things out—even if it’s just a quick text or call to a friend—you’ll see things start to feel more manageable.
How to Avoid This Mistake
- Identify a safe person you trust. Whether it’s your spouse, a mom friend, or a sibling, they’re probably more than willing to lend an ear.
- Text someone! Even a simple “Hey, I’m having a hard day. Could we chat for 5 minutes?” can start the conversation.
- If talking feels like too much, try writing down your worries. Taking just ten minutes to jot down how you feel helps you see things more clearly.
Sometimes, when you finally say those overwhelming thoughts out loud, they lose their power. You might even catch yourself thinking, Wow, why was I so stressed about this?
Mistake 3: Ignoring Constructive Feedback
When we’re feeling emotionally drained, it’s easy to get defensive. Hearing someone tell you that you might be overreacting or taking things the wrong way can feel like a personal attack. But sometimes, a fresh perspective is exactly what we need.
Your first instinct might be to push back. But when someone you trust points out something you’ve missed or a way you could handle things differently, it’s worth really considering their words. Growth doesn’t happen in our comfort zones.
How to Avoid This Mistake
- Pause before reacting. If someone gives you feedback, take a deep breath and listen instead of responding immediately.
- Ask clarifying questions. For example, “Can you explain what you meant by that?”
- Remember that feedback isn’t a judgment on your character. Your loved ones want to help, not criticize.
Constructive feedback might sting at first, but it can be incredibly valuable in reframing situations and finding solutions you hadn’t thought of.
Mistake 4: Not Practicing Ahead of Time
“I’ll just do better next time.” It sounds great in theory, but it doesn’t set you up for success. Improving how you handle mom guilt and anxiety takes intentional effort and, yes, practice.
Whether your challenge is staying calm during toddler tantrums or curbing negative self-talk, you need to prepare and visualize how you’ll approach things differently next time. Think of it like preparing for a test; you wouldn’t go in without studying! Practicing strategies for managing stress and guilt ahead will make handling those tough moments second nature over time.
How to Avoid This Mistake
- Visualize scenarios that tend to stress you out, and imagine how you could respond calmly and constructively.
- Set reminders on your phone for when life gets overwhelming. For example, you could set one that says “Take 5 deep breaths right now” or “Reflect before you react.”
- Track patterns. Some days (or even weeks) might naturally feel harder, like before your period. A heads-up reminder can help you approach that time with extra patience and grace.
With consistent practice and preparation, you’ll notice moments that used to set you off become easier to handle.
Taking the first steps toward a calmer, guilt-free mom life
Feeling anxious or weighed down with guilt doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. By addressing these four common mistakes and weaving small but meaningful changes into your routine, you can find balance in even the most chaotic days.
Start with prayer to ground yourself, lean on those around you, be open to constructive feedback, and put strategies into practice. Remember, progress isn’t about perfection; it’s about learning and growing a little more each day.
And in those moments when everything feels too much, remind yourself of this truth: You are doing better than you think, and your kids already see you as a superhero.
